I Miss You
by Nasty Nikolo
Summary: AU:Growing up in a small town in the middle of Maine, Regina Mills and Emma Swan had been together since the 9th grade and best friends even longer. Graduation comes and goes with both girls realizing they both had different plans for their futures. Dedicated to Bomrin
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Growing up in a small town in the middle of Maine, Regina Mills and Emma Swan had been together since the 9** **th** **grade and best friends even longer. Graduation comes and goes with both girls realizing they both had different plans for their futures.**

Every day was the same in Storybrooke. The same faces and day to day task, nothing ever changed. And that was the way Emma liked it, or at least she thought she did until she realized what she was loosing in the process. A crinkled Polaroid, creased heavily from Emma carrying it in her pocket everyday for the past two years sat heavy on her heart. Chestnut locks fell to the top of her back and chocolate eyes sparkled with mirth. Regina Mills was everything she ever wanted in her future, yet the brunette's future didn't consist of her staying in Storybrooke. She wanted to be some hard ass lawyer in New York and work her way up into owning her own practice. So Emma did the only thing she could do. She let her go...

The saying goes if you love someone you set them free in hopes they will come back to you, if they don't they were never yours to begin with. Something about that burned Emma's chest like no other. Regina never came back and if she did it was only to see her family briefly before heading back before Emma could corner her.

"Swan, have you ever been in love?" The newest member to their tight knit group asked Killian from somewhere overseas. Everyone got quiet, knowing exactly how much stress the question would cause the blonde. That picture weighed a ton right now, and that slight smirk of a smile that Regina always sported felt like it was mocking her.

"Killian..." Ruby warned shaking her head.

"What? It's just a question. No need to twist your knickers." Killian defended, watching Emma stoke the fire so it wouldn't burn out. They had decided to camp in the woods for a fresh change of scenery but also to initiate the brunette male into the group.

"Yeah I've been in love before." Emma ground her teeth after speaking, throwing some leaves into the fire listening to it crackle as it consumed them.

"Tell us about the unfortunate lad whom broke your heart." Killian prodded causing Emma to snort. He had been trying to get a feel for her since he came into town.

"It would be lass, in this case." Emma grinned watching his eyes widen much to Graham, Ruby and Belle's delight.

"She was the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on. With a tongue that could cut sharp as razors and my inability to filer anything I said it was a wonder we ever became friends to begin with. I met her in the fourth grade when I almost fell off my horse. Here comes this regal nine year old to save me, she pulled me onto her horse before lecturing me on how I could have died. Me being the smart ass that I am, I asked her was I in hell or heaven because she had me confused." Emma paused to chuckle along with everyone else.

"We held hands in the ninth grade and proclaimed to everyone we were dating after a kid named Robin asked her out. We were together all the way up until my senior year and I just knew that I could see my forever in her. I had never loved anybody as much as I loved her." Emma licked her chapped lips as she sucked in a shaky breath.

"What happened?" Killian asked softly, watching a looked of pain and regret flash across the beautiful blonde's face.

"She always talked about being some fancy ass lawyer. Once graduation hit, she got accepted into Harvard, Yale, Princeton and Columbia. She had dreams and aspirations in life, and that didn't include staying here. Me, this is all I ever wanted. A small town to settle down in and raise a family. Not the hustle and bustle of the city." Emma swallowed harshly as her eyes.

"I wanted her to follow her dreams and be happy, even if that wasn't with me. Last I checked she was dating some brunette ADA named Danielle." Emma exhaled sharply before rising to leave.

"I'm going for a walk." Emma ran a trembling hand through her hair. She immediately took off towards where the stream was overhead. Her and Regina would always go there after Emma's lacrosse games to cool off and relax. Pulling the picture out of her Northface, she started starting to sing what she had dubbed 'their song'.

 _ **'It's been to long and I'm lost without you,**_

 _ **What am I going to do?**_

 _ **Said I been needing you, wanting you.**_

 _ **Wondering if you're still the same ,**_

 _ **and who's been with you.**_

 _ **Is your heart still mine?**_

 _ **I wanna cry sometimes.**_

 _ **I miss you.'**_

Emma carefully traced every feature on the picture, committing it to memory as she did every night. She never wanted to forget the woman who hold her heart, even if it hurts.

'Off to college, since you went away.

Straight from High School you up and left me.

We were close friends, also lovers.

Did everything, for one another.

Now you're gone and I'm lost without you hear now.

But I know I gotta live and make it some how.

Come back to me, can you hear me?

Calling for you cause, it's been too long

And I'm lost without you.

Tell me what I'm gonna do.

Said I've been needing you, wanting you

Wondering if your the same,

and who's been with you.

Is your heart still mine?

I wanna cry sometimes.'

Emma sniffled, using the back of her sleeve to wipe her running nose. She was only nineteen, she should be moving on. It had been two whole years. Over seven hundred and seventy five days since she last seen her other half.

 _ **'Now I'm sitting here, thinking bout you**_

 _ **and the days we used to share.**_

 _ **It's driving me crazy**_

 _ **I don't know what to do.**_

 _ **I'm just wondering if you still care?**_

 _ **I wanna let you know, that it's killing me**_

 _ **I know you gotta life and you gotta concentrate baby.**_

 _ **Come back to me, can you hear me..**_

 _ **Calling for you cause, its been too long and I'm lost without you**_

 _ **I...can't...be...no...more  
Since you went away I  
Don't really feel like talkin'  
No one here to love me  
Baby do you understand me  
I can't do or be without you"**_

 _ **I miss you.."**_

Folding back up the paper she tucked in safely into her pocket before standing up and brushing herself off.

"Where ever you're at Regina Mills, I just want you to know I will always love you. And I hope your happy. That you've gotten everything that you wanted out of this life." Emma whispered into the night, knowing the words were falling on deaf ears she said them anyways.

"Just know, I miss you." Emma let a gentle smile touch her lips.

 **AN: Dedicated to Bomrin for their Birthday! There may be a part two from Regina's POV, and there also maybe a part three...All mistakes are mine**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: Growing up in a small town in the middle of Maine, Regina Mills and Emma Swan had been together since the 9** **th** **grade and best friends even longer. Graduation comes and goes with both girls realizing they both had different plans for their futures.**

 _ **'Grew up in a small town,**_

 _ **and when the rain would fall down,**_

 _ **I'd just stare out my window.**_

 _ **Dreaming of what could be,**_

 _ **and if I'd end up Happy,**_

 _ **I would pray.**_

 _ **Trying hard to reach out,**_

 _ **but when I tried to speak out,**_

 _ **Felt like no one could hear me.**_

 _ **Wanted to belong here,**_

 _ **but something felt so wrong here**_

 _ **So I prayed,**_

 _ **I could Break Away...'**_

Regina smelled the saltiness of her tears before she registered to the fact that she was actually crying. It was August 13th, this was their day. Their anniversary and instead of being snuggled up in a head full of blonde cinnamon scented hair she was sitting in her apartment alone sipping a glass of homemade cider that her father sent to her. The picture she had was laminated, much like her heart. Covered in layers of protection hoping it wouldn't deteriorate due to the elements. She only ever allowed herself these stolen moments when she knew Danielle was going to spend overnight working on a case. She only ever allowed herself to smile when she thought about that lopsided grin Emma would throw her whenever she caught her trying to sneak a picture. Or the way green eyes would light up the moment they seen her, making her feel like the only girl in the world. She only ever allowed herself to think about the love she had but then lost. Then the anger came.

Emma knew! She knew how Regina felt about the stifling town. The overwhelming presentiment that her life would stand for nothing if she stayed in Storybrooke. That she would never amount to anything in that slow dinky place that they grew up. So why she waited until Regina was set off to leave for Columbia University is what baffled the brunette. In the same breath she wondered, why did she let Emma go so easily? Yes the blonde broke up with her, but Regina knew Emma felt that she was only going to be holding her back...

The key in the door startled her, and in her inebriated state she couldn't find it in her to rush to hide the evidence of what she had been doing. Whom she had been missing. Danielle always took off her heels whenever she came home, so there was no dreaded clacking of her heels. The light haired brunette simply walked into their shared living room with a smile on her face that slowly fell as she took in her surroundings.

"Regina..." Danielle cleared her throat, before her eyes landed on the Polaroid in her lovers hand. The blonde woman was smiling, and it wasn't the first time that she had seen this particular picture.

"I didn't expect you to be back so soon." Regina admitted, licking her cider stained lips and tasting the alcohol on them.

"What are you doing Regina?" Danielle sighed deeply before walking to sit beside the woman on the couch. She reached out to grab the picture but Regina tightened her grip. It took her several moments to pry the picture away before Regina gave up and let her have it.

"Tell me about her." Danielle demanded, keeping her eyes on the beautiful blonde who could be no older than seventeen when the picture was taken.

"What's there to tell? It really isn't any of your business!" Regina went to her coping mechanism of snarky.

"It is my business when my girlfriend of eleven months is flat out drunk looking at a picture of another woman! This isn't the first time Regina! Is this Emma?" Danielle waved the picture in Regina's face as she grew increasingly angrier.

"H-How do you-"Regina stopped herself but it was already too late. The humorless chuckle that Danielle gave her let her know that.

"You call out her name when we make love. Never when we fuck, only when we make love." Danielle admitted watching Regina's face crumple slightly as she tried to hold on.

"Tell me about her." Danielle demanded again, knowing she was going to need to hear this if she was ever going to be able to move on.

"We met in the fourth grade back in Storybrooke. She was the rough around the edges kind of kid that everyone avoided. We had been in the same recess period but I never had enough courage to go talk to her. Nobody did. She didn't have any parents and that was enough to make her a social pariah. So you can only imagine what a kid that age can get into." Regina smiled lightly at the memory and Danielle tried to ignored the ache that settled deep in her chest.

"I saved her from falling off her horse one day at the Stables. We were best friends after that. Eventually our feelings grew until we started dating in the ninth grade. We were together until a week before I came here." Regina licked her lips, her eyes trained on the picture.

"So when you said you were a little homesick, you didn't truly mean your home...Home is where the heart is, and you've given your heart to her to keep." Danielle responded watching Regina suck in a shaky breath.

"She's an idiot, but she was always my idiot. It was apart of her charm. She has this thing where she puts everyone before herself, including me. She let me go to follow my dreams because she didn't want to hold me back." Regina's voice wavered slightly.

"It sounds to me like you are the one who let her go. Face it Regina, you don't like it here in New York. You are a small town girl. I've heard you tell Mallory several times that if you could be the Mayor in Storybrooke then you'd be happy. So why aren't you there?" Danielle asked, passing the photo back to her soon to be ex-girl friend. She watched the brunette slowly trace Emma's face on the photo, a small smile playing on her lips.

"She's probably moved on by now. A girl like Emma Swan doesn't stay single for very long." Regina replied

"Or she's probably just as broken by this as you. Have you seen or spoken to her any time you've went back home?"Danielle questioned watching Regina shake her head no.

"I-It would hurt entirely too much to see her with someone else." Regina whispered.

"I wouldn't be able to see her look at someone like she used to look at me. To watch her bright green eyes communicate everything without speaking for another person would literally be the nail in my coffin." Regina continued

"Do you love her?" Danielle waited for her answer

"I..What?" Regina stammered

"Do you love her?" Danielle asked again, growing impatient.

"Please don't make...please." The brunette pleaded but Danielle couldn't find it in her to grant it. She loves Regina, and she would do anything for her to be truly happy. Even if it wasn't with her.

"Well you only need the light when it's burning low. Only miss the sun when it starts to snow. Only know you love when you let her go...Only know you've been high when you're feeling low. One hate the road when you're missing home. Only know you love when you let her go. And you let her go." Danielle licked her dry lips in hopes to center herself by focusing on anything but her breaking heart.

"Danny please." Regina sniffled, trying to hold back her tears.

"Staring at the bottom of your glass." Danielle gestured to the empty tumbler of cider.

"Hoping one day you'll make a dream last. But dreams come slow and they go so fast. You see her when you close your eyes. Maybe one day you'll understand why, everything you touch, oh it dies." Danielle wiped the first tear that fell from Regina's eyes away on instinct. Regina wouldn't meet her eyes instead looking at their chandelier

"Staring at the ceiling in the dark. Same old empty feeling in your heart. Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast. When you see her when you fall asleep, never to touch and never to keep. Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep." Danielle used her thumb to trace Regina's cheek and she could feel the brunette shaking.

"You only know you love her when you let her go." She pulled her hand away and watched Regina completely fall apart. Ear shattering wails pierced the air as the older ADA brought her into her chest.

"I-I want her back. I didn't mean to." Regina hiccuped after a few moments.

"She let you go first, but now its time to put on your big girl panties and go get the girl. Success isn't measure by how much you make Regina. I'm sure you'll find success when you look at her. If she is too much of a bitch or has moved on, then its her loss. But you owe it to yourself and her to actually fight for it. If love was easy then everybody would be in love" Danielle watched Regina try to pull herself together.

"What am I going to say to her?" Regina furrowed her eyebrows causing Danielle to smile despite the situation.

"I'm sure you'll figure something out." Danielle promised.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: Growing up in a small town in the middle of Maine, Regina Mills and Emma Swan had been together since the 9th grade and best friends even longer. Graduation comes and goes with both girls realizing they both had different plans for their futures.**

 _ **'Some people live for the fortune  
Some people live just for the fame  
Some people live for the power  
Some people live just to play the game**_

 _ **Some people think that the physical things define what's within  
And I have been there before, and that life's a bore  
So full of the superficial**_

 _ **Some people want it all  
But I don't want nothing at all  
If it ain't you baby  
If I ain't got you baby  
Some people want diamond rings  
Some just want everything  
But everything means nothing  
If I ain't got you**_

 _ **Some people search for a fountain  
That promises forever young  
Some people need three dozen roses  
And that's the only way to prove you love them'**_

Her hair was longer almost reaching the middle of her back even with it's unruly curls. Dressed in a flannel, something Regina would have teased her about a couple of years ago, her body looked a lot leaner. Not that Emma wasn't fit before or anything, just the brunette could see the well defined muscles in her back as her shirt ran up whenever she stretched. Emma was meticulously brushing Rocinante's hair, while cooing to the stallion. Regina couldn't make out what Emma was saying to her horse, but hearing her voice for the first time in over two years had her choking up a bit.

According to Henry, Regina's father, Emma made sure to come down to the stables everyday to muck out Rocinante's stall, fed, bathe and brush him. Knowing that Emma had held onto her in some way shape or form gave her just the bit of confidence she needed to walk forward into the stalls. Her boot crunched a twig and both Emma and Rocinante snapped their heads to look at her.

"...R-Regina?" Emma whispered, her cheeks draining of color as she back away.

"Hello Emma." Regina greeted shyly with a small smile playing on her lips. A smile that Emma didn't return. In fact her bottom lip quivered slightly until she bit down on it.

"What are you doing here? Well not here here, because this is your dads stables. But here as in Storybrooke. How- No why are you standing here right now?" Emma furrowed her eyebrows as she rambled.

"You always did have a way with words." Regina chuckled slightly, looking down at her boots momentarily as she tried to gather herself. When she finally looked back up into hazel green eyes she could see them shining with confusion

"I needed to come home." Regina shrugged.

"That doesn't explain why you're here. The Manor is on the other side of the town." Emma deadpanned before turning to put Rocinante's pail of grains in front of him. Patting the horse on the head as he munched away, she turned to the silent brunette.

"Not that home, I needed to come back to where my heart is." Regina admitted as she licked her lips waiting for Emma to respond.

"Rocinante? Look you didn't have to come out of your way to check up on him, I've been making sure he's staying in tip top shape. I can only imagine your commute." Emma began sweeping up some droppings before putting them into a pail off to the side.

"No Emma, you know who I'm talking about. You are the only one who has ever had my heart, and I'm here for you. For us." Regina spoke firmly as she took two steps towards the blonde who had frozen up. Emma turned slowly with a schooled expression and a raised eye.

"How does Danielle feel about that?" Emma crossed her arms as Regina frowned.

"How do you even know about her?" Regina questioned.

"Did you think I would feel comfortable with you out there in a city like that alone without checking up on you? I came down there six months into you're studies. You seemed well adjusted, happy even." It was Emma's turn to shrug.

"Happy?! You don't even fucking know how miserable I have been! You don't know!" Regina snapped, watching Emma put up her hands in surrender.

"It was just an observation, Gee." Emma fell into an old habit of soothing the beast when she got angry.

"You really think that I was happy in New York without you? I wanted nothing more than it to be you who was by my side! But you weren't even willing to try for me! You could have gotten into any college you wanted Emma, I've seen your grades!" Regina accused, watching Emma look away.

"Not everybody is meant for college, Regina. I would have miserable there. And yeah, that's selfish on my part but I didn't want it to get to the point where I resented you for it. I knew you'd go either way. Whether I was there or not, but you would have had a better chance at succeeding if you didn't have to worry about how you're every decision would effect me." Emma replied, scratching the back of her neck.

"You didn't even try to stop me. You didn't try to fight for me. Was I not worth it? Did you not mean it when you said you loved me? I thought you were going to come for me!" Regina blurted out watching Emma flush red in shame.

"I should have come for you. I wanted to but I was too much of a coward." Emma agreed.

"Do you know I've spent the past two years chasing after this _dream_ , only to wake up and realize I didn't even have what I really wanted? I didn't have you." Regina whispered.

"I'm sorry. I thought you wanted all of that. The money, the fame. It's all you would ever talk about. Girls like you Regina, you grow up without wondering about making ends me, only about getting richer. I can't keep up with that lifestyle, I don't want to keep up with it either." Emma admitted.

"Hand me the world on a silver platter, and what good would it be? With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me? Some people want it all. But I don't want nothing at all, if I ain't got you." Regina responded taking two more steps until she was standing in front of Emma. The blonde processed what was just said before quirking her lips slightly.

"You said ain't." Emma chuckled out out for a moment until Regina tugged on her hair, pulling her forward and crashing their lips together. The kiss was tentative, slightly chapped lips moving against lipstick before Emma ran the tip of her tongue across Regina's bottom lip. Scrunching up her eyebrows at the nasty 'lipstick' taste, she wasted no time in snaking her tongue into Regina's mouth to get a different taste. Regina pulled away, using her thumb to wipe away the smudged lipstick on Emma's mouth.

"You're an idiot." Regina murmured lovingly watching a grin break out on Emma's face.

"So are you, but Regina Mills!" Emma paused

"Hmm?" Regina hummed waiting for her to continue.

"You are an idiot, but you're my idiot. And like that sappy movie about the boat, I'm never letting you go...Well she did eventually let go so that really defeats the purpose." Emma rambled causing Regina to laugh loudly.

"I miss you." Regina sniffled.

"Missed." Emma corrected

"I'm not letting this get away from us again. Some how, some way, we will figure it out." Emma promised.

AN: And that's the end. Thank you everyone for reading :)


End file.
